MARYLAND – Domestic Violence affects over 12 million people and this October local organizations are bringing attention to those numbers along the shore. On October 17th organizers of Oshun’s Garden held a vigil at Unity Square to honor the lives of those victims lost. They asked everyone to wear purple to show support and had some heart-wrenching stories to tell.
Blowing up your phone, being overprotective, and social media stalking, all of these are examples of what Makya Purnell, president and founder of Oshun’s Garden calls “cute toxicity” that permeates specifically in the Black Community. “Even though it is open to everyone, regardless of race, we do want to keep in mind, that our community has some norms that perpetuate violence. Right, we think toxicity is cute.”
Purnell says their non-profit says although certain issues are more prevalent in communities of color, domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. “If my partner is a black man, maybe I’m getting him in trouble, when there are already systemic things that, you know, exist. So, there are a lot of issues that make it a little bit more complicated, a little bit more unique for survivors that are of color… If you have a lesbian couple where there’s intimate partner violence, sometimes that can be reduced to a girl fight right, we don’t address it as domestic violence… It’s just something our community has, this mindset that men are strong, and you can’t be a victim, right? Just that thinking, all of those things have been normalized in our community, again, that keeps the violence going.”
Violence that unfortunately Linda Harris knows too well. In 1990 her 4-month-old daughter Tatiana died at the hands of her partner. Fast forward to February of this year and her 31-year-old daughter Tiyavauna Britt was also killed at the hands of her partner. “A lot I didn’t know. didn’t know. And she was trying to get her life on track. So, a lot of times, you know, the victims don’t like to tell their parents anything. They might share with a friend of something. And that is one thing I would like to mention. Friends don’t be worried about if your friend gets mad at you. You may be helping save a life.”
Tiyavauna is survived by her three children ages 13, 9, and 8. Harris says her daughter was actively trying to get away from her abuser, and she’s here to be her voice and tell her story. “My understanding is that he really tortured her, and she lost her life that night. We’re still in the process of court, he has been indited on murder. So, we’re just waiting for that. Tiyavuana’s body has not been found… Were still asking anyone if they know anything, or need to relieve their conscience, please call the State police barracks.” Tiyavauna’s family says a propre funeral can help with closure, but they continue to grieve one day at a time…