It happens once a month, in the dead of night. The unsuspecting Chapman campus is painted orange, with flyers posted everywhere from Doti Hall to North Morlan to spread the latest in campus news. “Fraternities to Use Sorting Hat in Rush.” “Undeclared Students Set to Host Terrible Rager.” “How to Get to the Sandhu Secret VIP Floor.” It’s Chapman University’s premiere satirical magazine, The Kumquat.
“Sorry, but what do you mean by ‘satirical?’” said Ichabod Branson, co-editor of The Kumquat. “Everything we publish is factual.”
For those unfamiliar with The Kumquat (@chapmankumquat on Instagram), it must be stated that this simply isn’t true. Despite what members of the magazine may insist, there is little to no evidence of a secret Sandhu VIP floor, and the sorting hat is nowhere to be seen (at least not by The Panther’s staff). Despite their blatant lies to the Chapman public, though, there’s an inkling of truth hidden beneath their stories…