I went to North Carolina. My car is now a swimming pool.

According to the staff at a major international hotel I stayed at in Wilmington, North Carolina, it was entirely my fault that a river joined me in my poor little Subaru. It turns out that I had failed to adequately prepare for the possibility of a freshwater swimming pool in my car.

I was in town to report on the record-breaking floods. Carolina Beach got dumped on—21 inches of rain—and the Cape Fear River, apparently not content to stay put, wandered into Wilmington’s streets. Scientists attribute this to climate change caused by society’s relentless devotion to fossil fuels.

Here’s the science: warmer air holds more moisture, so when it rains, it really rains. The kind of rain that makes you wonder if you should sell your car and buy a boat…

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