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Several years back, my teenager shared with me that they identify as nonbinary, a moment that was both enlightening and challenging. Initially, I was unfamiliar with what being nonbinary meant, leaving me overwhelmed with questions on how best to support my child.
In the journey that followed, my teen became my greatest teacher, explaining the nuances of their identity beyond just the basic definitions. They guided me on understanding their perspective, the importance of using their chosen pronouns (they/them), and how to act as a true ally in their daily life.
The process began with educating myself about nonbinary identities. The Human Rights Campaign describes ‘nonbinary’ as a term used for individuals who do not exclusively identify as male or female, presenting a spectrum of gender that may include both, neither, or a combination. This foundational understanding was crucial, but learning from my child about their personal interpretation and experiences was key to deepening my comprehension and support.
Adapting to my child’s pronouns was initially challenging, yet it was a crucial step in respecting their identity. I learned to promptly correct any mistakes and accept corrections from my child graciously.
Being an ally meant more than just using correct pronouns; it involved actively educating others, creating inclusive spaces at home and in our community, and checking in with my child about their preferences in sharing their identity with others. I took proactive steps to educate friends, family, and acquaintances to foster a more accepting environment for my child.
We’ve also identified and frequented places that explicitly welcome nonbinary and LGBTQ+ individuals, such as our local coffee shop known for its inclusivity and gender-neutral facilities. These spaces, along with support from a therapist, provide both my child and me with reassurance and community.
Navigating high school presented its own set of challenges and learning opportunities. Together, we have worked with school administrators to ensure my child’s environment is as accommodating and supportive as possible, addressing practical matters like bathroom and locker room usage.
Through these experiences, my child has taught me the profound meaning of acceptance and allyship, underscoring the importance of love, understanding, and support in the face of a society that doesn’t always embrace nonbinary identities.